How to Relax in 4 Easy Steps

Our "relaxing spot" willextend off the original
pergola patio.
Notice the lone flower hanging on to the left.

1. Decide to remove any residual flowers that are crazy enough to try to live in your garden. After all, you can't cook flowers on the barbecue and you can't blend them into a pasta sauce. There was one spot in our backyard that was designated for flowers. Each spring would herald a wave of color from the straw flowers, the daffodils, the snowdrops. But they were located in a spot just off our pergola patio and every time we had more than eight people for dinner and needed to move the table, it was a delicate dance to keep your toes on the concrete and sidestep the plants.

2. Sidetrack your foundation crew by having them pour an extra pad of concrete next to the pergola while working hard to pour the foundation for your new rooms. Oh, and make sure this concrete is the right color to match the existing patio that was poured six years ago. Oh, and make sure this new pad looks like it was poured at the same time as the first one, which means the crew shouldn't make it too smooth or clean looking. Which was too bad, because they really were craftsmen and I think they were a little frustrated that they couldn't do what they would consider a complete job. (They wanted to finish the pad perfectly, but of course perfect wouldn't match a 6-year-old patio.)

The new concrete pad will be slightly pink.

3. Spend an hour on the phone to Macy's trying to figure out why three completely different patio chaise lounges with three totally different names have the identical photo on the website, and why they are three different prices, and which one is the actual photo, or is the photo of a different chair altogether, and then wonder why the lady at Macy's gets a little frustrated with you when, after the hour on the phone, you tell her that you'll think about it and call back another time.

4. Realize that this is the time of year when patio furniture goes on sale and decide to wait and shop on a different weekend when you have a little more energy (who knows when that will be!) and instead have a piece of chocolate and watch some baseball instead.


Are you relaxed yet?